Chocolate Hostage Online

meet the new guy
click here to find out all about ben!

fancy a chat?
you can normally find paul c on berkshire live

what's going on in the reading punk scence?
check skatepunkreading

check the music!
we've got some older demos on

man makes sense shocker!
check michael moore to see what he thinks is really happening in the world!

old news
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mental propaganda?

hostages released... july 3rd
Yes - it's true, we decided last night that it was finally time to release those Chocolate Hostages, and have called it a day on the band.

No bitterness or anything was involved, it's just that we're pretty much geographically incompatible at the moment with half the band living in north London (Paul H and Kev) and half the band living in Reading (Paul C, Beef and Ben). It meant that we were struggling to keep things moving forward when we were so far apart, and we weren't achieving everything we really wanted to. So, we called it a day at a good point for us, where we've just finished a set of really cool gigs, had a great time and started to get a bit of a following. So apologies to our fans - no doubt we'll all be back in the very near future in different bands, so watch out on for any details about what we all decide to do!

Thanks to everyone that's supported us over the last 18 months - you know who you are!


Paul C, Paul H, Beefy, Kev and Ben

all quiet on the western front... july 2nd
you'll notice that we don't have many gigs coming up in the immediate future... obviously, we're always willing to make some noise when people ask us to, but we've decided to spend the time wisely and take a few holidays and work on some new tunes... when you see us again, we'll have a whole new set of tunes (which we think are wicked!) and we can entertain you as if you've never ever seen us before!
More importantly, i turn 25 on the 13th of july, so i'm expecting you all to send me presents, cards, best wishes and a winning lottery ticket!

paul c.

winchester is a nice place! june 30th
we played the big band bash in winchester on saturday, and it was great fun! top weather, great bands, wonderful atmosphere, and it was all for a good cause too - opening a rock school in the local area! total respect to the organisers for making everyone feel welcome, and supplying us with beer and food! yum!

paul c.

enter title here june 27th
so, guildford gig was cool, cheers to our 2 dedicated fans who managed to make it down there..can't believe we had to pay 5squid each to play though. i hope phyllis and her hospice put it to good use.
winchester tomorrow...should be good...c u there?


mass murderer comes for tea june 25th
ok, rant time. remember how we were told we had to start a war against iraq cos saddam was such a bastard, well this week vladimir putin's a guest of the queen and phoney b.liar at buckingham palace. the fact that putin's army is rampaging through chechnya at the moment (100,000 dead in the last few years, rape, torture etc) doesn't seem to have touched phoney's humanitarian heart. why? well russia has laid out the red carpet for western business and there's big profits to be made exploiting the people & resources there.
in iraq it took a war to liberate the oil & soon the sweatshops will be open. buy some trainer in a couple of years and they might say 'made in iraq'. that's the way british foreign policy works. check out mark curtis' new book 'web of deceit' or 'new rulers of the world' by john pilger. also, have a look at medialens. oh, and come see us play in guildford tomorrow or winchester saturday.


28 days later :o) june 13th
seriously, go and watch bowling for columbine, it's the best thing you'll see this year. we're writing new songs and we're playing a couple of gigs this week. get your punk ass to guildford on thursday - go on!!!

mr fish

knuckle shuffle... june 17h
well, it was some weekend in the end, with a great gig at the roebuck, with an awesome set from five knuckle (i've still got the bruises to prove it!), and we we're pretty good too! got well hacked off with repeatedly breaking guitar strings, but hey, that's the name of the game... well, the game that's called "repeatedly breaking guitar strings", anyway... so big thanks to adam for putting us on, and sarah and matt from mandown for sorting out the sound at the last minute! we'll see you in a town near you soon!

paul c.

the week that is... june 13th
well, it's a busy week in the hostage camp (but of course, beef is the campest of us all...), with a fab gig at the litten tree on tuesday with unsigned showcase, which was great fun and has been reviewed on the bbc. we've launched this new site, and some pictures of us have been put on today. and finally, to round it all off we've got a gig tomorrow night at the roebuck in tilehurst courtesy of the lovely people at skatepunk reading and we'll be alongside the filaments, five knuckle and glueball. should be wicked!
take care,

paul c.

live and wild! june 12th
welcome to the all new chocolate hostage online, live since the twelfth of june... we've changed things around so that we can bring you more up to date info on what we're doing, more pictures, more multimedia and more importantly, less eyestrain from minging white and grey graphics!
obviously, we've only just built this, so there may still be some teething problems (particularly if you're using 800*600 monitors), but if you do find anything, please be so kind as to let us know by the contact us form or send an email straight to paul c at
take care...

paul c.

new site june 9th
i'm going to be updating the site to our new design (have a look at an example of it here), so there's a chance the site might be up and down a little over the new few days! don't worry though, we'll be back to normal service very soon!

paul c.

friday i'm in love! june 6th
sorry for the lack of updates, but i've been busy building the new site design - and it should be finished this weekend so look out, people! we had a corking rehearsal on wednesday and are going to have another on sunday so that we can be totally ready to rock this tuesday at the litten tree in reading (me and beef went there on tuesday and it was a wicked night, jokei ciro were on top form!). then we're playing at the roebuck in tilehurst, along with the filaments and five knuckle!!! yay!!

paul c.

brighton rocks! may 23rd
just a quickie to say cheers to everyone giving us support at the junction in brighton last night - we had a lot of fun! took us hours to get home, but at least we had cheesy chips from some minging kebab house! but, tonight's another night, and we're going to be playing at the printers in slough, so why not get your asses in gear and get down to see us! we're on with another couple of cool bands, including on of my faves, second in line and sullivan... bring it on!

paul c.

eznow may 20th
hey, nope nothing much to say today. u missed a funky gig yesterday. some phat bass. (no, not me) we're playing in burgess hill on thursday, slough on friday. i could crack a lame craig david joke about what we're doing on saturday, but to be honest i don't like the guy and i don't wanna think about him. it's national veggie week, so give the pigs a break. eat falafel. seriously. with hummus, or if not tahini.


this charming life... may 14th
ok, ok, it's totally self indulgent of me, but i think it's worth everyone paying attention to the fact that as of yesterday it's twenty years since one of the greatest bands in history released their first single. pay homage to the genius that is stephen patrick morrissey!!!


new singer. sweet... may 11th
yuchoo. new singer gonna play with us soon. stay tasty.

lick my hairy crack! may 5th
ah another insane bank holiday...just remembered our last gig. i ended up talking to a guy called moonbeam for about two hours and left the venue hallucinitaing with extreme paranoia. wha's going on? i'm thinking about replacing one of my nipples with a second nose. dunno though, might not be too clever...

cheers may 1st
just to say thanks to everyone that came down to see us at Gossips last night - it was much appreciated... took us about 3-4 hours to get home after getting lost, but hey, we saw loads of london!
good luck to kev on the march today, and we'll see you out and about again soon!

paul c.

mumble mumble mumble april 29th
tomorrow night we're going to be banging out some tunes at Gossips in Soho, as we did a few months ago... last time it was a wicked night, so get yourselves down there and get ready for a big phat party! Gossips is just off of Dean Street, and is a cool place with drinks that aren't too expensive for Soho... it's pay to get in though, although i dunno how much... why not get down there from eight!

paul c.

anus unit - buy two! april 23rd
allo, 'interesting' gig last night, some might call it a secret show, i prefer to think of it as a crowd of ten thousand very skinny people :o) big up and fattys to 2nd in line and the andover metal scene - what do they put in the water there!?? peace. especially the government.

mr fish

here comes the summer!!!!!!!! april 17th
who's out skating this weekend???? the weathers stupidly nice.... sun makes you forget about all the crap in the world :o)

mr fish

beefy speaks april 14th
thanks to everyone who came down to watch us down the turtle on sunday, i really enjoyed it (apart from the excessive sweating) & even had a free beer - rock life style or what?!?!
we're playing down the cellar bar in bracknell next, on the 22nd, where i hope to maybe get 2.
incase you're reading this, here's a so solid crew callout to : mum - can i have my underwear, rich - can i have my bog roll back?? & happy b'day penneck


turtle dairy donut dingle... april 12th
metal up yer arse skinny! we're playing the turtle tomorrow, gonna bring your mum down for a taste of mr c's machine???? hey it's gonna be something special... c u in the pit...

fish boy

red salsa, purple turtle april 10th
hey all, so, a gig this sunday at the turtle, come, it's gonna be a 5-course punk feast, which i guess makes us the main course? or maybe the soy cheese and bisuits? anyway it's all courtesy of ste the imbecile. so direct any culinary questions to him i s'pose...unless u wanna know how to make a mean salsa, then i'm your man.
i've got an idea, lets get 100 people and 200 journalists to come and cheer, then the bbc will report that the whole of reading turned up and everyone loves us..... get my point? propaganda (see here)'s scary how many people fall for it.


where's the grass greener? april 6th
morning folks, are you enjoying the scenes on your tv from basra and baghdad? can you answer one question - do you believe this war is about liberating people or do you think it's about america trying to gain control of one of the worlds biggest oilfields? there's a big sick world out there and it's not run by compassion, it's run by greed. in this world your money is the voice that the powers above hear first. borrow no logo from a friend or a library and begin to educate yourself. if you don't think the system stinks you will do tomorrow.

vampires and organ recitals april 4th
thanx to everyone for coming down to the gig last night, hope nobody was killed by the secret service on the way home, they're out there you know, ready to take you down an alley and make it look like such a beautiful accident, oh the day we get rid of the vampires, heh heh heh - i like to move sometimes but they've really got us chasing the money, how can you be dependant in this climate? it's such a fight and everyones a pacifist here so what do you do? i know - a sit down protest - sit down and do nothing or sit down and accept? do you see where i'm coming from? nothing more than good and evil green?